If I Were A Banned Book

Presented without commentary...


If I Were A Banned Book
Nov. 30, 2011
By William Henderson




If I were a banned book, I’d be the dirty bits and the heaving breasts and the twisted sheets and the scented oils and the chains and rope and dripping candle wax. I would coax you into multiples, and I would urge you to invite another. I’d be the empty bottle of gin on the kitchen table. I’d promise to call, but never would.

If I were a banned book, I’d tell you to challenge authority and question everything and demand answers. I’d tell you that the 1 percent is nothing without the rest of us labeling the 1 percent the 1 percent. I’d teach you to cook anarchy and embrace diversity and kiss your same-gender lover in public.

If I were a banned book, I’d let you ask me about sex and growing up, and I’d sing the caged-bird songs, and I’d be each of the nobodies who would answer to the name nobody. I’d teach you to sail a raft and swim against tides and dance in towns where dances aren’t danced.

If I were a banned book, I’d be the light on long-past midnight in your attic, and I’d be the cauldron around which dance witches and in which fire burns and toil and trouble doubles.

If I were a banned book, I’d bring flowers to the grave of a mouse and I’d teach you that forever sometimes means forever and sometimes means less than forever but always means what forever will mean to you, then, at that moment.

If I were a banned book, I’d be the secrets you write in your diary and I’d be the lies you write in your diary and I’d be the truths that you wish weren’t truths that you write in your diary.

If I were a banned book, I’d be cupboards and wardrobes and the hidden door under a stairwell in which lives the boy who lived. I’d be beanstalks and magic shoes and godmothers, winged and otherwise. I’d be potion poultice poetry. I’d be words wings wizardry.

If I were a banned book, I’d dance with insects outside of an enormous peach, and I’d race wolves in woods overgrown with ivy and snow. I’d be the substitute teacher who’d let you smoke cigarettes outside. I’d be the comic book hidden behind your history book.

If I were a banned book, I’d urge you to go ask Alice, and wrinkle time, and ride in talking cars. Everyday, I’d crown a new king fly-lord, and everyday would be a good day to say goodbye to something.

If I were a banned book, I’d be the Pigman and I’d be a Wallflower and I’d be the story of Sleeping Beauty, written under a penname. I’d kill mockingbirds and I’d talk about the things we talk about when we talk about things like death and love and sex and forever, which, as I already would have taught you, sometimes means less than forever but always mean what forever will mean to you, then, at that moment.

Pleasure Reading

For Christmas this year I received several books.  Most are recipe or pattern books (both of which I read like novels) and one is an uplifting book of encouragement for parents.  I love them all!

First up is the Ball Complete Book of Home Preserving (400 delicious and creative recipes for today) - from Bryant's moms.  This softcover book is just shy of 500 pages and while it doesn't have a photo for every recipe, it has quite a few photo sections sprinkled throughout the book. 

The guide is broken up into chapters such as Getting Started, Perfect Pickles, Soft Spreads, Condiments and Pressure Canning (for low acid foods such as peas, potatoes, beef or chicken stock, etc...) and each chapter is a treasure trove of information.  Not only does each page contain a recipe, but it also gives handy tips and safety information. 

From randomly opening the book, here are a few sample recipes to give you an idea of what's in here - Silky Apricot Butter, Strawberry Lemon Marmalade, Berry Wine Jelly, Roasted Garlic Jelly, Pineapple Chili Salsa, Orange Rhubarb Chutney, Dilled Carrots, Pickled Garlic, Sweet Red Cucumber Sticks, Chicken Stock and Spaghetti Sauce with Meat.

My favorite thing about this book is that it is written in such a way that the I feel the publisher/authors genuinely want me to succeed.  I love that!  I've never done any canning, but it is definitely on my list of things to learn and this book is going to go a long way toward teaching me.

Next up is Crafty Mama by Abby Pecoriello- from Bryant.  This smaller book is only 262 pages and about six inches square, but packed full of simple, creative ideas.  The book is almost entirely baby and toddler crafts, most of them requiring no special skill or equipment (not even a sewing machine).  There is a section at the beginning that talks about organizing a crafty group and how to get things done with a baby on your hip. 

Projects include things like shadow boxes and fabric covered storage totes for keeping and displaying all those wonderful memories of your little lovey.  There are also patterns for tied fleece blankets, pillow covers, appliqued onesies, embellished shoes, diaper bags and brag books.  My favorite part of the book is nearer the back; crafts for parents - photo charm bracelets being the project I'm most looking forward to.

While I don't have any tiny babies around anymore, I know lots of people who are just beginning their parenting adventures and this book is going to come in mighty handy!

My Mom got me a wonderful book called 100 Flowers to Knit and Crochet  by Lesley Stanfield.  After the typical how to section is page after page of life size knit and crocheted flowers, insects, fruits and veggies.  The patterns are broken up into knit or crochet and then narrowed down by skill level - beginner, intermediate and advanced. 

Each pattern lists a yarn weight and any special tools needed, such as double pointed needles.  If you use the recommended yarn weight, your flowers will be the size of the ones shown, but there's no reason you couldn't play around with various weights and make them exactly the size you want.  In the back, after all 100 patterns, is a small section of project ideas and tips for displaying your fiber flowers.  So fun!

The patterns include an Irish Rose, Peony, Fern Leaf, Anemone, Dianthus, Scottish Thistle, Pansy, Lavender, Bluebells, Oriental and Field Poppy, Gerbera Daisy, 2 different Sunflowers and Acorns, as well as several leaf variations, bees, butterflies, carrots, pea pods and a whole lot more!

Another book is Eco Beauty by Lauren and Janice Cox, another gift from Bryant's moms.  I love this book!  It's full of recipes for everything from facial cleanser and toner to bath bombs and lip gloss.  This book reads more like a standard cookbook than a beauty book, with ingredients like strawberries, honey, powdered kelp and chocolate. 

The book is divided into sections such as, For the Face, For the Mouth, For the Hair, etc... and each section contains a dozen or so recipes.  There are full color pictures for the vast majority of the recipes, though not all.  Each section also contains a brief overview of things you can do to keep your hair, hands, whatever, healthier; things like drinking more water, exercising regularly, etc... Those things we all know we should do, but don't always focus on. 

A random selection of recipes includes Milk Maid Cleanser, Green Tea Toner, Chocolate Walnut Body Polish, Scented Shower Gels, Very Vanilla Lip Gloss, Lemon Sugar Hand Scrub, Honey Hair Pack, Go Bananas Hair Conditioner and Colored Bath Salts.  Each section includes trivia such as the history of lipstick, safety tips and lots of other interesting tidbits. 

Following the bulk of the recipes is an entire section on gift giving.  This section includes things like gift basket ideas (Workout Basket, Happy Feet Basket or Bon Voyage Basket), holiday gift ideas and packaging options using unexpected and/or recycled materials. 

The Creative Family (How to Encourage Imagination and Nurture Family Connections) by Amanda Blake Soule is the one I've read cover-to-cover most often. SouleMama, as she's known in the blogging world, is down to earth and easy to read and relate to. Her ideas are often so simple that I find myself slapping my forehead in a moment of, "Why didn't I think of that?" or nodding along as I read about a shared philosophy or practice.

I can't recommend this book enough, for parents, grandparents or anyone who spends time with children on a regular basis. The focus is on family, certainly, but there is so much more to this book. The author talks about using nature as inspiration for color and texture, about being grateful for the big and little miracles in our lives and about everyday rituals and experiences that we don't pay that much attention to, but that can have a huge impact on our children.

This is the kind of book that ends up with the spine broken, the pages dog-eared and tattered, covered in highlighter, margin notes and doodles - the kind of book that works its way into every part of your life and you feel that much more blessed for it.


So what great books have you been reading lately?