The Aftermath

I fell off the wagon again.


No, I didn't really fall. Its more like I dove headfirst off the wagon, eyes wide open and arms spread.


Yeah, I'm talking about the diet wagon.


We've been doing the South Beach Diet for a while now, but we haven't really stuck with it. At least not well. As of this morning I've gained back about 4 lbs of what I'd lost. 4 lbs isn't that much in the grand scheme of things, but it sure feels like a lot.


Not only have I gained back a bit, but I can feel the difference. I have more headaches, more stomach discomfort and less energy when I'm eating badly. I know in my head that eating better makes me feel better, but when I'm stressed out or overwhelmed, I like to eat. I find comfort in the act of preparing and eating food. Unfortunately, I haven't figured out how to reprogram my brain to accept healthy foods as comfort foods.

When I'm just feeling peckish, I can accept a dish of almonds or a handful of red grapes. But when I'm really upset or lonely or utterly bored, those things are never quite enough. I want chocolate or Doritos or donuts.

Yesterday was one of those days. I struggled pretty much right from the get-go. I wanted a Twix Java (Curse you Twix makers!!) in a bad way. A lot. We went to town to run some errands and when we stopped to get gas Mr. Wonderful ran in and picked up a couple Twix for me. I resisted the temptation to eat them right then.

Then we went to Target and he picked up some Doritos and Diet Pepsi for me. By the time we got home, it was getting late, so I left the snacks on the counter and made tacos. Dinner was pretty healthy as I used whole grain tortilla shells and lean meat for the tacos, plus lots of veggies and low fat cheese and sour cream. After dinner, however....

Mr. Wonderful had picked up some gigantic marshmallows and wanted rice crispy treats. The Boy and I drove to the grocery store around the corner and bought Rice Crispies and while we were there, the Starburst were calling my name. So I picked up a bag of summer fruits flavored Starburst.

I spent the evening eating, knitting, eating, playing Crosswords on my Nintendo DS, eating, making rice crispy treats, eating and well, you get the idea... Just know, it wasn't pretty.

The point of all this is that once again, I'm further from my weight goal than I was before. On the plus side, this was a good reminder of how much better I feel when I eat healthy and how much worse I feel when I don't.

Now, I don't want this to become a diet-specific blog, but I am going to use this space to keep track of my health challenges and triumphs. Monday is my typical weigh in day, so if you're interested, check back on Mondays for updates.

My ideal weight, according to the "experts" is 115 - 125 lbs. That seems insane to me, so I'm aiming for 145 and we'll see how it feels when I'm there. My current weight is 205.5.

60 lbs. to lose. Pibb weighs just over 60 lbs and it's a little daunting to think of losing that much weight. Instead, I think I'd prefer to think of smaller amounts, 5 or 10 pound increments. Those amounts feel much more manageable to me.

So feel free to join me as I work hard to change my horrible habits into good ones and to teach my children how to make healthy food choices.