Life will go on and I'll deal with things as they come. I'll easily handle things like Pookie falling down the stairs and needing minor medical attention, having to call the furnace guy because the damn thing won't light (again) or having my favorite 9 X 13 Pyrex dish shattered.
I'll laugh at Pookie's crazy 4-year old logic, trade snarky comments with The Boy while we race in Mario Kart and generally just enjoy my life, forgetting about that ever-growing ball of emotions.
But then I'll drop a stitch while knitting or my floss will tangle as I'm stitching or I'll burn a batch of cookies and all those emotions come rushing back to the surface. This morning, it was a broken bottle of nail polish. I didn't cut myself or spill polish all over, I simply cracked the bottle and my heart cracked, too. I sat on my kitchen floor and cried out all the stresses of the past few weeks. Then I cried because my baby looked more like a man than a boy when he was standing up (in a tux!!) at my baby sister's wedding (and when did she get old enough to be married?). I cried out every little bit of pent up fear, anger, uncertainty and stress I'd been holding onto.
And when I was done I could breathe deeply again.
I'm the same way. Sometimes the silliest thing will cause the floodgates to open.
ReplyDeleteBeen crying a lot myself lately with everything with Em.
ReplyDeleteI found my mom sobbing once when I was very young. When I asked her what was wrong she said nothing and to leave her be. Later, she told me not to worry about her if I found her crying like that because sometimes moms just need to cry. Boy was she ever right.
On a side note, he did look very handsome in his tux.
Yep, been there, done that -- kind of feel the need for it now, but it's evidently not the right time. Probably sometime soon, however. :)
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